


friends aren't meant to catch feelings

by oceandawn



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hugs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:20:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29133927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceandawn/pseuds/oceandawn
Summary: callum has a deadline in three hours. he really needs a hug — but definitely not a hug from his best mate who so happens to be his crush.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 10
Kudos: 103





	friends aren't meant to catch feelings

**Author's Note:**

> tumble prompt for leo! thank u!
> 
> i hope you enjoy :)
> 
> prompt — "You look like you could use a hug."

Deadlines are approaching.

 _University will be good for you,_ they said. _University will opens doors,_ they said.

Callum thinks they're talking crap, honestly. The only door these past three years have opened is his heart and the inevitable way he fell in love with _Ben Mitchell_ of all people.

Yeah, they're flat mates, literally bumping into each other's lives three years ago in that library. Callum specifically remembers what book he was looking for when they did. Ben was looking for an excuse to skip class.

Leaning back in his chair, Callum pushes both of his hands into his hair. This essay needs another thousand or so words in the next three hours or he's done for. Granted, he's already done well, but to fall at the last hurdle won't look good on _any_ job application.

He should've done it sooner, should've told Ben no to all those times he invited him out but the thing is — he likes being with Ben.

He _likes_ Ben.

The thought makes him groan, leaning forward to close his laptop before the sight of it makes him want to give up entirely.

Ben likes Callum. Callum likes Ben.

Neither of them know, and it's like walking on hot coal figuring out if either of them do because they're afraid of breaking this friendship, the unbreakable bond of that one friend you've stayed up countless hours with to battle module deadlines and cramming for an exam. Ben's been that person for Callum, the anchor to his uneasy sail.

He wishes he could tell him, graduate knowing that he did tell him before they go their separate ways but _God_ it isn't easy confessing that you like your best mate when your foundations are so solid.

Right. He needs to kick himself. Callum can't spend three hours thinking over his entire love life.

Pushing himself up from the desk, Callum exits his room, hands through his hair again as he pads to the common room, socks on his feet creating this soft thud.

He opens the fridge, scans for some orange juice and finds there isn't any. Well. That's something to do tomorrow.

Callum hangs his arm on the fridge door, trying to decide what he wants but there's nothing at all even though the fridge has plenty. He could snack and eat his heartache away but he needs to focus.

There's no focusing when he keeps thinking about the fact that they'll graduate in two weeks, and that they'll have to leave this flat, their life and move on.

Callum hangs his head as he shuts the fridge, rubbing at his face again, turning so that his lower back thuds against the kitchen side.

Not even the lights from outside their floor seem to calm him like they usually do, the city alive with the night.

The rest of the flat have gone out, Ben organising a party since they've all handed in but he had no idea about Callum. They're on separate courses, he wouldn't have known. Callum insisted that they go, that he'll go with them again tomorrow.

"You look like you could use a hug."

Callum snaps his head towards the voice, _his_ voice, _Ben's_ voice.

"Ben? I… I thought—"

"Got tiring. Came back," Ben places his keys on the side, placing his hands into the pockets of his red coat. "Felt a bit guilty leaving you on your own to cram a deadline."

Callum smiles, and Ben smiles back. It hurts to feel the loud drum his heart makes, so he has to turn away.

"Could do with a hug, honestly," says Callum, jokingly, wiping his wrist against his nose until he hears movement.

Ben's walking closer, his expression having fallen to something softer, unguarded.

"You alright?"

_No._

"Yeah, just — deadlines. You know how they are," Callum feels like curling up and crying. God. Why does he have to be in love with his best mate?

"I do," Ben shrugs off his coat, turning away from Callum to place it over one of the kitchen chairs. It's only then that Callum spots it.

"I wondered where that went."

Ben blinks as he turns back to him, only catching on when Callum picks at his soft, grey shirt. Ben looks down to the hoodie he's wearing.

"You said I could borrow it," chuckles Ben.

"I said that four months ago," Callum laughs, and the way Ben smiles makes him feel that he did that.

"Uh, it's still cold? Especially at night?" Ben acts like it's obvious. "Besides, I look good in it."

"Uh huh," replies Callum, Ben clicking his tongue in offense.

"And here I was thinking you'd appreciate me leaving a full pint glass to come and keep you company," Ben walks over to him, prodding his chest, having no idea what on earth it's doing to Callum's wild heart.

Callum looks down. Oh. He's being genuine.

"Cal?" Ben lays such a soft hand on his arm it breaks Callum in two.

"I could do with that hug, actually." Callum's honesty leaves the room in silence, but it's not uncomfortable.

He shouldn't ask, shouldn't have his heart hold on to something he'll have to let go eventually.

Ben lifts his hand from Callum's arm to his neck, and that's new, new tingles down his spine and his body just — _falls_ when Ben brings him in, arms around his shoulders so Ben can hide away in the space between his neck and shoulder.

Callum places cautious hands on his back, only settling more firm when Ben squeezes him, and the pair of them sigh as if this is entirely what they _both_ need.

Ben keeps quiet as they hold each other, Callum's thumb moving over his shoulder, wrapping his arms a little bit more until Callum can't figure out where he starts and Ben begins.

Well. Friends don't hug this long, usually.

Friends don't whisper _I'm gonna miss you_ in their ear, threading fingers through their hair because Ben is tired of being afraid. His heart yearns for Callum, and the way he wants to hold on and not let go only proves that.

"Me?" asks Callum, as if it can't possibly be true.

"Yeah," Ben closes his eyes as his nose nuzzles into Callum's neck. "Yeah, you."

"I… I'm gonna miss you too," admits Callum, finally. It's been months since he first thought that. "Can we — can we stay—"

Ben kisses his cheek, softly, holding the other side of his face and the deep _thump_ Callum's heart makes feels like something cosmic.

_Oh._

Ben doesn't move, suddenly feeling as if he's overstepped. "I — did I screw this up?"

Callum brings himself back, only slightly, hands resting on Ben's waist as they meet eyes. Ben looks — different, open maybe, a glint of humanity for a person standing on the edge of something.

He wants to tell Ben that he's silly for thinking so, that he can't possibly do that but the warmth blooming from where Ben kissed him slows down his entire system, makes him sway until Callum presses his lips against Ben's.

Once, then twice, a third when Ben curls his arms around Callum's shoulders. A fourth when Callum brings his hands up to his ribs.

Ben breaks but never leaves Callum's lips.

_"How long, Cal? How long?"_

Callum wants to laugh. _God. Finally._

"Too long," he says, brushing his thumb against Ben's bottom lip. "Too long. I'm sorry."

"You can say sorry by kissin' me, yeah?" Ben laughs, Callum laughing with him as he tugs at him, Callum's back thumping against the side.

"Shit, I got an essay to finish," says Callum, but keeps kissing him anyway, lost.

"Then I'll help," Ben kisses him again just because he can. "Then we talk. Maybe kiss again, too."

"Okay," laughs Callum.

"Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay," Callum bumps his nose to Ben's, smiling. "Let's go read ten thousand words of an essay."

 _"Urgh —_ can we just kiss instead?"

"Nope!"


End file.
